Another day gone by

Tomorrow is the day! FINALLY Hugh gets to come home to his own bed! Today was a much better day for Hugh. A friend, a brother and a brother-in-law all kept watch over Hugh today. He was able to eat a bit and work some with physical therapy. They say that Hugh is getting stronger. It really becomes quite a challenge to find time to sleep while in the hospital. He is very excited about being home. We were visiting quite late tonight. Libby insisted on bringing the dogs. They do allow pets. I don't know why but this surprised me. We determined that we would be pushing our luck by bringing both dogs so we opted for the one we could hide if we needed to.....Milly. She jumped right up on the bed with Hugh with her tail wagging rapidly. I wish I had a camera. It was a "Kodak moment!" I had to laugh because Hugh was a bit sarcastic and grumpy. Libby turned to me and whispered, "I think that dad is back!" Hugh insisted that I go to the Brighton soccer game this afternoon instead of coming to the hospital so I could give him a report. Nothing bothers him more than missing the kids games. The only problem is that I am not the best sports reporter. I never get the details quite as detailed as he would like them! I may have to turn this job over to someone else on the team! Conner and Jerry are spending the night with Hugh up at Huntsman. A little male bonding time. Hugh does not like to be alone and it is fun for the boys. Hugh completes his "total brain radiation" tomorrow while at Huntsman. After that we plan to bring him home. We received an e-mail from Daren this week. He is aware of the situation this past weekend. We all find such strength in his e-mails and letters. I copied a brief part of his letter below. "I was thinking about all of the memories we have (makin' memories!) and the good times and I just felt this overwhelming confirmation that I would never cease to have those experiences with my family, and that even though we have this not so easy, not so happy, not so wanted experience right now, it really is just a SPECK on the globe of eternity. Its moments like that that keep me going! I know everything will work out. Just keep your chins up and hang in there and know how much I love you and am praying for you. Stay strong family. I love you, Daren" It is difficult for Daren to be so far away from his family right now. We know that we are blessed for his service. He worries about us. I have reassured him that we have so much love and support surrounding us. He realizes that now and it has made it easier for him being away. Jerry has been such a support for us as well. He has fallen into that oldest sibling role now that Daren is not home. I referred to Daren the other day as "my rock". Jerry started laughing and said, "what does that make me? Your pebble!" So we determined that when Jerry leaves for the "Y" this summer then Conner will be the "grain of sand!" Every day I am filled with such joy and appreciation for the love and support from so many people. Just know that we could not do this without such good friends and family. We have learned so much from others through this process. From food, helping with laundry, helping with the yard, playing taxi for Hugh's treatments, just "sitting" with Hugh, driving our kids to soccer, driving to piano, cleaning, helping with my "honey do list", sending funny text messages to make us laugh, taking us to lunch, diet cokes, praying for us, kind words, hugs. I could go on and on. I start to think of all the love we feel and it makes me cry. I know that we will be watched over in this difficult time. We are so blessed. We have each other and have all of you as well. Thank you for watching out for our kids. For now, we look forward to days at home together. We look forward to watching more soccer games, even if it is from the car. The journey continues and each day we find joy in some small way.

Value of Faith by Jaren Davis

Reposted here by Camille:
We learn throughout life the value of faith, the importance of hope, and how charity trumps each of these as necessary for us to find true joy. Charity or pure love cannot be expressed falsely. It is who we are and found deep within our souls. Over the past few days my understanding of this virtue has intensified significantly. I have witnessed first hand how giving of oneself lifts the soul of one in need, and all who are fortunate enough to participate. Hugh, one who is always found giving, one who continually expresses his love through assisting anyone in need is currently in need. I know Hugh well enough to believe he would never ask, and certainly not expect anyone to help, but they have done, are doing, and yet will do more. Observing this is one of my life’s greatest joys. It has solidified my belief in our fellow beings. I see family and friends engaged in forfeiting current commitments to be available to help. Hugh, who has always been self-sufficient, is currently enjoying the charity of all who know him, and even some who are just learning of this great man. There are those who have missed days of work, lost hours of sleep, driven, purchased, and aided in simple procedures. I can’t express how heart felt it is to see many willing come to Hugh’s aid; meeting his every need. Not only are his personal needs met, but his families too. No one is going without and in fact they are receiving more than needed. For all whom I have seen, and those who I haven’t who are doing things behind the scenes; thank you! It is touching to see love in action, validating what is felt about this giant of a man. I know he truly appreciates each and every one of you.

By Jaren on Resting on 3/28/11

What a weekend!

Hugh and Diane

Sorry that it has been some time since I last updated. It has been quite a week. Friday the 25th started as any usual day recently. Hugh had an appointment at Huntsman at the pain clinic. The oncologists felt that his pain needed to be managed differently. We finished up there and then rushed to radiation for his appointment. He was not feeling well and his oxygen saturation's were very low so he was started on some oxygen. After radiation, one of our friends brought Hugh home for me so I could try and get in a few hours at work. That afternoon Hugh insisted on me driving us to Jerry's soccer game. Brighton v.s. Lone Peak. There is nothing that Hugh enjoys more than watching our kids play soccer, other than reffing! We sat in the car and watched the game. Hugh was worn out so we had to leave at half-time. Some of our good friends brought dinner over to our house that evening. We were all visiting in our bedroom when Hugh suddenly lapsed into a grand mal seizure. I think that this was the scariest thing that I have ever witnessed from a nursing perspective and it made it that much worse to have it be my husband. I was so grateful for friends being there to help and support. After the seizure, Hugh was calm for about 10 minutes and then he suddenly opened his eyes and became very agitated. Jerry had returned home from his soccer game during all of this happening. Conner and Libby, fortunately were not home. I was talking with a doctor on the phone regarding the situation and we decided that we needed to call 911 to help control the symptoms. The paramedics arrived and Hugh was taken to the University Hospital ER and then later transferred to Huntsman Cancer Hospital. For a moment during the seizure I thought that we were going to lose Hugh. At the time I thought that it was related to the metastasis in his brain. Well, after many tests it was determined that Hugh had a blood sugar of almost 900. Normal is around 120. This is what is called hyperglycemia. The physician at Huntsman explained that when your blood sugar is that high your vessels are basically flowing with glucose. Your body recognizes this as foreign and will start pulling fluids, thus depleting your body of fluids. Your body wants to get rid of all of the glucose and so you start to urinate frequently, thus pulling all of your potassium with it. Due to the imbalance in electrolytes and fluid depletion, one of the things that can happen is having a seizure. Hugh's glucose was elevated due to a medication that he was taking for the radiation and brain metastasis. Hugh was pretty unresponsive and restless for the first couple of days while his body was trying to lower its blood sugars and keep his electrolytes in sync. Today, is a much better day! Hugh was able to eat a bit and actually get out of bed. He is very weak but is able to converse and make much more sense! We have enjoyed poking fun at him though. You always need to laugh! Sorry for all of the details! I find that this is actually very therapeutic for me. This blog allows me to vent a bit. For some, this may be a bit too much information....just read fast! Hugh's glucose is now getting close to the range that the doctors want him in. He has been on an insulin drip to lower it slowly. Today he was receiving the insulin in an injection form. His potassium is finally starting to return to normal as well. As for his poor lung function, this was related to all of the above as well, what they call respiratory alkalosis. This too is improving. As you can imagine, this has taken quite a toll on Hugh and our family. The doctors anticipate that Hugh will be able to come home on Wednesday this week if all goes well. We will have to keep you posted. I want to express the appreciation that we have for all of our friends and family. It is times like this that you have to rely on everyone around you. We know that Hugh's time on this earth is very limited. No one has a crystal ball. Hugh and I feel that we have done everything medically possible and at this point, it is not in our hands any more. I know that the kids and I will be okay because of our family and friends and faith. We feel your prayers and know that you are thinking of us. We will be forever thankful. As a mom, I want to take all the pain away from our kids. I wish that they did not have to go through all of this. We realize that we have all grown from these experiences and have learned and will continue to learn valuable life lessons. A friend shared a thought with me that has now become my motto: "You never know how strong you are until strong is your only option." We can do this. We will keep you posted on what the next few days bring for us. For now, we enjoy every moment that we have. Hugh always says, "we are makin memories!" So, we will continue to make memories with the time that we have together on this earth. Knowing that it is just a spec in time. Thanks to all of you. We could not get through this trial without you.

Eating real food again

Hugh is doing much better this morning. He slept pretty well last night. His sugar and potassium levels are slowly coming back into balance, and the doctors have stopped giving him intravenous sugar. As I write this he is eating his first meal in a couple of days. He's hungry! After sleeping most of the day yesterday, he's much more awake and alert, and asking for more food! He's a typical Dearden!

David Dearden (Hugh's brother)

Resting

Hugh is in the Huntsman Cancer Institute and at the moment is resting comfortably. His sugar levels are stabilizing and his potassium seems to be slowly coming up but is not yet at normal levels. Diane hasn't been able to rest much, but she's still in good spirits. We appreciate your love and prayers.

David Dearden (Hugh's older brother)

Seizure

Last night Hugh suffered a significant seizure and was taken by ambulance to the hospital and later admitted to Huntsman.  The seizure was caused by a critically high sugar level due to medications used to treat his cancer.  They are bringing the sugars down through insulin and also treating low potassium levels. He and Diane are grateful for the continued support.  In lieu of visitors, please send messages of encouragement through the blog.  Diane will check it when time allows.  Diane wanted me to communicate to you all how touched she is by the outpouring of support and love.  Thank you all!

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey! A good friend of ours started this blog so we could keep everyone updated as to Hugh's condition. Due to the fact that it is almost midnight I thought that I would just give an update and get into more details another time. For those of you reading this, I am sure that you all know that Hugh has had prostate cancer for almost 3 years now. This "cell type" is very aggressive. If I had a nickle for every prostate story that I have heard, I would be a rich lady! Basically, almost every man will die WITH prostate cancer not FROM prostate cancer. Typically prostate cancer occurs in older men and is very slow progressing. The doctors that have been treating Hugh at Huntsman Cancer Hospital say that they have NEVER seen such aggressive prostate cancer. Just our luck! Hugh's dad passed away in 1981 at the age of 52 from prostate cancer as well. Our internist started checking Hugh when he was 40, so we have been cautious and aware of the family history. Still, here we are, facing the same thing that Hugh did when his dad passed away. Hugh was a senior in high school when his dad passed away.
Most recent.....Hugh started chemotherapy on December 23rd, 2010 due to the cancer "not responding to hormone therapy". After four treatments they scheduled him for follow scans to see if the chemotherapy was slowing down the progression of the disease. He tolerated the treatments very well until his fourth treatment. Since then, he has been pretty run down. Well, on March 14th he was scheduled for a bone scan, CT scan of the chest, abdomen and pelvis. He was having a bit of facial numbness around his mouth so I called on that morning and let them know. The oncologist added on a brain MRI as well. Hugh was mad at me for calling them. :)
We received a call first thing Tuesday morning on the 15th telling us that his brain was "full of cancer." The oncologist recommended radiation to slow the progression in his brain and then to consider hospice care. Let's just say that last week was not a very fun week.
At that time, they told Hugh that he could no longer drive due to the metastasis. As most of you know, Hugh loves to ref soccer. This is therapy for him. He was so looking forward to doing so this Spring. Last week, he insisted on reffing a high school game. He was not able to finish. That has been a very sad thing for him.
Hugh started radiation today. They are treating him with 5 treatments at high doses. Radiation to the head really does have few side affects. The radiation oncologist said that it is the easiest place to radiate. Today the home health and hospice agency that I work for signed him on for "palliative care" until he finishes radiation and then he will be on hospice.
We have talked to each of our kids. They are handling it the best that they can and each have a different way of doing so. We have always been very upfront and honest with them all along the way. It has been difficult because this has just happened so quickly. As most of you know, our oldest son, Daren is serving a LDS mission in Mexico City. Our Stake President called and had a long conversation with him this past Saturday. For now, he is taking everything in. We will support whatever Daren decides to do. Knowing Daren, I think that he will stay out serving his mission but he will be the one that will know what he needs to do.
We are trying to get everything in order and cherish every moment. Hugh is weak but is doing okay. He fatigues easily but is still Hugh. Just a smaller, weaker version. :) Words cannot express the appreciation of the support that we have felt. We are so blessed and lucky to have such good friends and family. I feel that I have rambled but we wanted to let you know the latest. When I can gather my thoughts a bit better and when it is not midnight, I will get into more detail. We will keep you all posted. Keep an eye on our kids!

Diane

Blog Launched

This blog is dedicated to Hugh Dearden, my friend.  It is our hope that through this site, we can share information, support and love for the entire Dearden family and together learn and grow.  I have known Hugh for 11 years.  He and my husband, Alan, served on their missions together.  Shortly after we moved here in 1999, our sons, Jerry and Trevor ended up on a soccer team together.  Through the years, we have celebrated, laughed and cried together. We've sat together on many a soccer field, travelled to many out of town games, wrangled our children at places like Sweet Tomatoes.  We've celebrated Sinter Klaus together each year, stuffing our faces with Indonesian food as we listen to Daren play the piano.  It's been a glorious journey.  I'm so grateful to have the Dearden family in my life.  Each time I'm in their home, I come away having been uplifted and taught and highly entertained.  This blog will be an opportunity for all of us, all who love the Deardens, to connect and to gather information in an effort to support Diane and Hugh, and to ease the burden of disseminating information.  Check back regularly.